


A Letter To My Best Friend

by orcishkitty



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, F/M, Letters, Self-Hatred, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:23:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29829039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orcishkitty/pseuds/orcishkitty
Summary: just a little short story I thought of, I don't really know how to summarize it...she lost the battle with her own thoughts that consumed every last bit of happiness she had left.also it says suna, but it can honestly be any character you want
Relationships: Suna x Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	A Letter To My Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning !!
> 
> Teen suicide is hinted in this story many times, although it doesn’t straight out say it. Please do not read this if you’re struggling from poor mental health and suicidal thoughts. 
> 
> If you do have these thoughts please know that you are not alone, if you feel you can’t talk to friends or family, contact a suicide hotline, but never bottle up your emotions.
> 
> Not a lot of people talk about the mental health of teenagers, but it is so, so very important that you know your worth, that you love yourself. Always put your mental health above all, if you need a break from school then you take that break, if you need a break from your family, then leave your house for a bit. 
> 
> Keep your head up bestie, hard times will end, look forward to the future.
> 
> I’m proud of you <3
> 
> Ways to overcome self-harm 
> 
> \- draw or scribble designs on paper using a red pen or paint on white paper — if it helps, make the paint drip  
> \- write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper  
> \- draw the pain  
> \- compose songs or poetry to express what you're feeling  
> \- listen to music that talks about how you feel  
> \- Draw on your skin with a closed pen  
> \- go for a walk or run, ride a bike, dance like crazy, or get some other form of exercise  
> \- rip up some paper  
> \- write out your hurt, anger, or pain using a pen and paper  
> \- scribble on paper using a red pen  
> \- squeeze, knead, or smoosh a stress ball, handful of clay, or Play-Doh
> 
> Suicide is irreversible, once you’re gone you’re gone, no coming back. Pain doesn’t last forever.

The last letter you wrote.

The last letter you wrote to me was heartbreaking, and you were gone before I could even write you a reply. The last letter you wrote to me was less of a letter, and more like a note. Tears and dried blood stained the page of the note. You poured out all your feelings onto that single piece of paper, the piece of paper that has now turned to dust. 

The self-hatred you felt.

You spoke about how you thought everyone hated you, but in reality, the only person who hated you was yourself. You spoke about how each day you would fall deeper and deeper into a world of sorrows, a world where you’re your own biggest enemy. Where your thoughts would tear you down more than any words anybody has ever said to you could. You believed in fairies more than yourself. That magic pixie dust had turned to ash and the twinkle in your eyes dulled down and your vision was tainted with hallucinations of the false reality you created. Suddenly, you realized you had become the very image you hated. everything you never wanted to become. And then you became nothing at all.

I loved you.

When you said you were fine, I believed you. You would always light up the room you would walk into, you were sunshine. At least that's what we thought, your bright character was all a façade, behind your gleaming smile you were hurting. You were never the sun, but the moon instead, the moon that drew you into the darkness. I wanted you to look at me the way you looked at the moon. I wanted you, yet you always wanted the moon. And I could never compare to something as beautiful. When you showed me your first real smile in what seemed like years, I thought I had finally overcome the moon, and at that moment I knew that I may have been the light to your darkness after all, but the darkness of the precious moon would always overtake the light I had to offer. You're in paradise now y/n, free from the pain the world caused you. But now, my paradise is gone.

I tried.

I tried, I really did but nobody holds a gun to the head of a suicidal person, they do it themselves. That's the thing about suicide and what's so infuriating about it. You try desperately to take away the gun, but you're not the one holding it so it's impossible. Just know that you were so incredibly loved, you touched everyone's hearts and you made lives better.

And suddenly the song we sang at the top of our lungs became an awful reminder of you. Remember all the beautiful moments we had? Dancing in the rain, running down the streets laughing our asses off on hot summer nights, the times you cheered me on at my games. The many laughs we shared, the late-night walks, the comfort of each other's warmth. And your big happy smile that fooled us all. The hardest part about losing you is that I have to keep going, I have to turn to the next page knowing you won't be there. I think it's time for me to move on, y/n. Just know, I’ll always love you, now and forever.

Goodbye.

\---

And after this chapter, she was never mentioned again. Although he still flipped to the beginning just to remember what it was like.

  
  
  
  



End file.
